Can we talk about it?

Apr 8, 2014

Parenting can be hard. 
And holding your own temper back while your child is being unruly can be even harder.

People might think Bennett and I are crazy but we are on a no-yelling system when it comes to Louis.  I’d like to add that we sometimes [often] fail at this system but we keep trying.

I don’t think it’s fair that we teach our children to not yell at us by yelling at them.  It’s basically saying it’s not okay for you to be bad but I can do whatever the hell I want because I’m an adult.  When he cries or yells or acts like a little butthead, we make him take a deep breath and count to four (before he roars, thank you Daniel Tiger), then calmly explain what happened.  Believe it or not, a lot of times it really does work.  Sometimes taking a step back from whatever you’re freaking out about helps.

It’s tough.  I’m  not saying that we are perfect at it.  Or that we are even remotely perfect parents.  Unless perfect parenting includes getting things wrong all of the time and having life lessons thrown at you on a daily basis.  Then yeah, we are totally perfect.

I just don’t see the need to have everyone running around mad at each other when it just takes a minute to calm down enough to talk to each other.  Kindness does work…

The only problem is that we have an incredibly stubborn and smart little kiddo.

When I got home from work last night, Louis greeted me with a hug and then asked what I brought for him.  “Where is the surprise?  Did you bring me something new?  A toy?”

Uggggggggggh.
”No, I didn’t.  I’m sorry but you don’t always get something when I come home/we go to the store/you think you need something new.”

Louis got upset.  Pouted, cried a little and huffed around the house.  And then he asked permission to take a deep breath and count to four.  I thought we might have gotten over the hump when he came up to me and said, “Momma, can we talk about it in the winning woom?”

So we did.  He sat on my lap and talked calmly about how he wishes I would have brought him something home because he wanted a new toy.  And I calmly explained to him why he didn’t need anything new right now.  He was left unsatisfied but at least he felt like his little voice was heard?

I don’t know how else to do this.  To get over the entitled toddler aspect of things.  And the mini-freakouts that happen.  This is the path we’ve chosen and we are going to stick it out.  Smother him in kindness and hope that he comes out on the other end of it a wonderful human being that thinks before he speaks and doesn’t yell and fight with the people around him.  :: fingers crossed ::

**These particular pictures are from another “can we talk about it” moment.  If he is disagreeing with one parent and the other is out of the house, Louis will request that we call the absent parent so he can tell them what’s happening.  I get a few calls during work like this while Louis and Bennett are butting heads a little.  It’s sweet and it usually ends with him being a little more calm, even if I am siding with his Daddy the entire time. 🙂 

0 Comments

Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Welcome to Wild+Wanderful!  I’m Katy.
Momma. Wife. West Virginian.
Designer. 
Dreamer. Coffee Consumer.
DIY-er. 
Craft Beer Enthusiast.
Purple Obsessor. Lover of Handmade.

MILDLY WILD. MOSTLY WANDERFUL.

LATEST FREEBIES

Ruth Bader Ginsburg Quote :: FREE Silhouette + Cricut Cut Files!

Like many others, I've been struggling with the news of the passing of Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg.  I'm stuck in a moment of wanting to mourn the death of such a vital, powerful female figure in US history....and also living in fear of what's to come with the...

We Can Sew It! :: FREE Silhouette + Cricut Cut Files!

It's no secret right now that there is a massive shortage of PPE in every hospital and care facility everywhere.  It's also well known that the CDC is now calling for everyday people to wear masks when they go into public -- to help slow the spread of COVID-19 in...

“Hey Baby” Yoda-Inspired Design :: FREE Silhouette + Cricut Cut Files!

I know, I know.  It seems like all I've been able to do lately is create Baby Yoda inspired items.  Do you really blame me?  He's just the cutest thing that's happened in the Star Wars universe....basically ever. Today is Valentine's Day and since our...

Yoda One for Me :: FREE Yoda-Inspired Zipper Pouch Pattern + Tutorial!

My name is Katy and I have a love for Star Wars that goes beyond what a person should have.  Like....I LOVE Star Wars.  Even the Prequels, people!!!  And whenever I'm like, "what should I make that would be cute and fun?" I almost always want to make something related...

Stranger Things “Squad Goals” :: FREE Silhouette + Cricut Cut Files!

We have a new Stranger Things OBSESSED fan in our household.  It's adorable how much Louis is taken with the Stranger Things stories.  After much debate as our parental team, we allowed him to watch the series with us.  Wether or not your child is old...

Hammer Time with CoordiKnit Nonsense Fabrics :: FREE Shark Cut File!

FREEBIE ALERT!  If you scroll to the bottom of this post, you'll find a link to the design that I printed on Louis' brand new tee.  And I will not apologize for getting "U Can't Touch This" in your head. CoordiKnit Nonsense Fabrics sent me this super cute...

RECENT POSTS

One Pattern, A Dozen Ways | A Recap of the Lumberjack Shirt

As I'm working on finishing up Louis' winter jacket for this year, I couldn't help but take a trip down memory lane of all of the jackets I've made him.  And they all happen to be from one single pattern: the Lumberjack Shirt by Patterns for Pirates. Seriously, sewing...

Ruth Bader Ginsburg Quote :: FREE Silhouette + Cricut Cut Files!

Like many others, I've been struggling with the news of the passing of Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg.  I'm stuck in a moment of wanting to mourn the death of such a vital, powerful female figure in US history....and also living in fear of what's to come with the...

1st Day of 4th Grade

And just like that, someone allowed Louis to turn another year older, and start another year of school.  We have an official 4th grader in our house!  WHAT IS HAPPENING??? And although 2020 is the least typical year ever, I'm really excited to see what he does during...

X Marks the Spot with the XFactor Dress by P4P

I showed you my XFactor Crop (ala Peg Bundy style) late last week, but now it's time to bring out the sweeter side of sewing.  Because darn if I didn't feel just adorable in the dress version that I'd made for myself! The X Factor Crop & Dress is an adorable...