Wild & Wanderful

Guilty as Charged

Katy McKinleyComment

I’ve lived with a guilt-stricken life for as long as I can remember and having a child has only made it grow exponentially.  Enter: Mommy Guilt.  It’s awful.  No matter the choice I make, I feel guilty.  Like I could have done something more or better or different. 

For instance: Louis doesn’t have a bedtime.  He goes to bed when we do because that’s how he functions.  That’s how we as a family functions.  The child doesn’t require a lot of sleep and he wakes up at a decent hour in the morning, sleeps through the night and is still very active when we head for bed.  Basically, we aren’t torturing him to keep him awake.  He’s just up.

But then I go and read on Facebook or talk to another parent about their kids going to bed at a much earlier hour and I immediately have this intense feeling that I should be getting Louis to bed earlier.  Even though Bennett and I are fine with our choices, Louis is happy and healthy and it’s not affecting a single other person…I still feel this horrible, intense, stupid, ridiculous, dumb, awful guilt.

^^But if he went to bed before me, how would I ever get pictures like this of us being silly together? :)

I warned Sierra about Mommy Guilt after Delilah was born.  She was trying to figure out an eating schedule that worked for their family and was having an epic internal struggle when contemplating formula feeding.  It hit very close to home with me because Bennett and I had that same issue.  We ultimately ended up feeding Louis from the bottle and guess what?  It was GREAT.  I still get on the defense though when I read about these crazily pro-breast feeding people being all gung-ho about mother’s milk.  I applaud any woman who breastfeeds but it didn’t work for our family.  It doesn’t work for everyone.  Bennett is the primary caregiver, I work and we wanted more options than me having to pump every 30-minutes while I was at the office. 

Do those reasons make me feel better?  Not one bit.  Should they?  Probably…but I can’t help but constantly getting all woulda/coulda/shoulda on myself.  Mommy Guilt blows!!

There are a few moments in life when Sane Katy comes out to play and tells Crazy Katy to shut the hell up.  (I like Sane Katy, she’s kind of a badass.  She needs to show up more often.)  To all you other Moms and Dads out there that are in the same situation as me…here’s probably my favorite blog post I’ve ever read about parenting: Latest Parenting Trend | CTFD.

Hopefully you take from it what I did.  We all need to just Calm the F**k Down and realize that it’s all going to be okay.  Or as we constantly are reminding Louis: ‘Take a deep breath.  You’ll feel better.’